Wedding speech
by Victoria Gryffindor Peverell
Summary: Sirius, Remus and Alice speak at Lily and James' wedding. Humorous fic.


**How to be an author ?**

**"I know this sounds like a teacher, but remember, I was a teacher before I began the Harry books. This is what works for me: First you must read, then practice, and always plan. Read as much as you can, because that teaches you what good writing , when you write, you will find yourself imitating your favorite writers, but that's OK, because it is part of the learning process. You will go on to find your own personal voice and style. Writing is like learning an instrument. When you are learning guitar, you expect to hit bum notes. And when you practice writing, you are going to write rubbish before you hit your stride. I know this sounds terribly boring, but it is much more productive to plan out exactly where you want to go when you sit down to write about something."**

**J K Rowling**

I started this fic a few months ago, loved it too, but was interrupted. I just moved in to my new home and was cleaning up my computer files instead of my way more messy room and found this. So here I am. Hope you like it too.

« Lily. I suppose it's more polite to start with the lady, and I know that if James gets offended, I won't mind, no harm will come of it, him being my best mate and all.

« So, Lily. Let me tell you that you complete James, and that I leave him to you without a second thought, if a cringe at how many times you'll have to floo over to my place to know how to handle him.

« You are a wonderful little sister, and thank you, or I hate you, for making me think twice several times when Moony wasn't around.

« Thank you for helping me out with James here now and then, for buying us some ice cream when mum and dad Potter had only given us enough money for our school supplies back in Diagon, for getting us out of Knockturn Alley that time (don't ask, everyone).

« Thanks for everything, Lils. But, two things much more important, thanks for saying yes to James-twice. For agreeing to give him a chance once upon a date, and for marrying him. He's a great dude underneath all the loser skin, honest_ »

« Padfoot ! »Cling-bam-wham-dililililing...

« Oops. Nah, he's a great dude anyways, I swear! Phew, get over those mood swings... So, thank you, Lily, for saying yes twice, and secondly, thank you for laughing at the prank during the mass a second ago. James didn't have anything to do with anything except the fireworks, I promise.

« James, I have only one thing to tell you, because I don't want to make that mutilation you threatened me of any worse, and that is, I love you, be good, you are one of the best people I know...and I wish you the best. Your turn, Moony. »

« All right, everyone, a round of applause to Sirius because that was the most sober and heartfelt thing I think I've ever heard him say since...Well, since the Knockturn episode. Quite a funny one, actually. But that story is reserved for the next generation of marauders, for them to laugh about.

« Right now I just want to say to Lily a few things, and James too for that matter.

« Lily. Do never. Ever... Give James milkshake. Not that you'll have to do all the cooking all by yourself, but just keep an eye on him, he loves that stuff but it's REALLY bad for his brain, trust me. »

« I'll remember that, Remus. »

« Please do, Lily. Second, thank you for watching over the boys when I had to take care of my 'furry little problem', as they like to call it. Thank you for accepting me throughout all the drama, and thank you for showing up at the wedding, because James here was sweating so much that he looked like a penguin that just got out of the water by the time Alice opened the doors to the aisle. And, last of last, don't let James become a fat old bag, please. Make sure he does work, that he doesn't leave all the cooking and cleaning to you. He'll get rusty and boring. OW! No need to throw glasses James, no need !

« That's it for Lily. James, now : don't forget to do the auror assignements, and be nice to Lily. I also wish you guys the best. That's it. Unfortunately, Wormtail, last time he had to do a speech, threw up at a teacher's feet, so I'd rather he wasn't placed in that embarassing situation again. Thanks. Go on, Alice. »

« Thank you, Remus.

« I had the idea of telling you quite a few embarassing things about how Lily coped with bachelorship before James pushed himself into the picture, about all the things she used to say before she agreed to go out with him, and then I'd make sure you knew what she said after.

« But I'll leave all of those pleasantries to Mr. , and especially Mrs. Evans , because I want to be clear of charges when « the next generation of marauders » butts in and demands a full résumé of this wedding, in detail.

« Instead I have composed another summary for you, with the occasional joke thrown in, for you to understand exactly why these two people are so wonderful and made for each other. Here you go! »

Alice waved her wand and a wide, white, rectangular sheet appeared. She whipped out an old wizard camera, slid out a tiny box and tapped it a few times with her wand. An image appeared that all the guests could see, projected, like in muggle movie theaters, on the white screen. It buzzed and cracked black and white for a few seconds, but then it cleared. Alice was on the image, a few years younger, biting her lip and obviously testing.

« Right...Okaaaaaaay... Got it. Smile, Lily! Say hello to the camera! » The said Lily turned to look at Alice, raised her eyebrows, said hello and turned back to her essay. The crowd laughed gently.

« Ladies and gentleman, we are at the end of sixth year, this is Alice Prewett speaking to you from Hogwarts, don't ask me where that is-

« Scotland! » The fifteen year old Lily shouted from her bed-

« Wales! » Yelled another girl from her own.

« Scotland!

« Wales! » Alice rolled her eyes from in front of the camera as a shouting match started. However, she managed to continue her little speech.

« And that was Marlene McKinnon, no, she isn't Welsh. Lily, Marlene, Hestia and I - Hestia's over there -the other bed- the one who just shouted 'Great Britain, now will you shut up', right you are, by the way, Hestia- »

« SCOTLAAAAAAAAAND! »

« SHUT THE BLEEDING SCOTLAND UP!

« -Were just having a little, but very deep chat about how it was so sad that we'd be leaving Hoggy-warties here one day-

« IN FREAKING WALES!

« YOU CAN SHOVE FREAKING WALES RIGHT THERE!

« THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

« Sisterly love. Don't ask. And so, following this little chat, we decided that the most serious of all of us, the less immature and hormonal teenager, the most considerate and calmest of us should keep a film journal of a few of our adventures so that we don't forget them. » The girls on their beds were now staring at their feet, shamefaced. « I, on the other hand, think that this will be excellently embarassing, which will be a great thing to show at the next wedding- OW! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THROWING SHOES! » Once again, the audience chuckled. The image fuzzed up again, and they could see a shouting match taking place in the common room.

« Hi everybody, this is Alice again, and you are assisting to another friendly little bicker between Lily and James, James Potter, her future husband, not that she knows yet of course, and we're at the beginning of seventh year. They're head girl and boy, and as you can see, they love each other so much that they need to shout it to the world. Loud. Very loud indeed... »

« WHY DON'T YOU JUST TRY TO BE SENSIBLE FOR ONCE, POTTER? »

« I WAS TRYING TO HELP A FIRST YEAR, YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO HEX HIM FOR A JOKE, SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST TRUST ME FOR A SECOND?»

« TRUST YOU? _TRUST YOU_? YOU HAVE HUMILIATED ME, YOU'VE CALLED ME NAMES, YOU'VE RUINED MY DATES, AND YOU WANT ME TO BLOODY TRUST YOU? GIVE ME ONE REASON! GIVE ME ONE REASON TO TRUST YOU! »

« I LOVE YOU! » The room went completely quiet, until Lily, open-mouthed and panting from her outburst, very eloquently put out her very thoughtful thoughts :

« Oh. » And then she cleared her throat and very carefully, very slowly reached out for his hand and awkwardly held it for a second, before clearing her throat again and saying, in a simpler and shorter way this time, her very thoughtful thoughts :

« Me too. That is, I mean, er- well. I, hm. Love you. Yes, I love you, uh, so.» Everybody looked at her, looking exceptionally fish-like, and, seeing this, she took in a deep breath and shouted out her very thoughtful thoughts once again :

« I LOVE YOU TOO, YOU BLOODY IDIOT! » The audience heard young Alice shift and mumble : « I didn't actually expet it to happen »

They collided so violently that they fell backwards onto the nearest couch. A party instantly erupted in the Common Room, and cries of « We're going to have to get used to their snogging! », « You owe me seven galleons and twenty sickles! » and of course « OOOOOOH NOOOOO! Snifffffff Snifffffff... Now all we can do is go join Black's fan club... Yay! » And the camera turned off to thunderous laughter and applause.

Lily hid her carefully made-up face in James' robes as they laughed. As it died down she rested against him and they looked at each other in the dimming evening light.

« I meant it, » Lily said, grinning. « Every word, you bloody idiot. »

THE END


End file.
